how does it feel like if you have a crush on someone but you won't admit it to yourself? how does it feel like if you don't know if this person would ever love you back? how does it feel like if you told to yourself that you don't need romance the other day, but then you feel WORSE when you suddently realise 'SHIT, there is ONE DAMN person.' ONE FRICKING DAMN person that gives you the feeling of being important. a lot of people give me that feeling, but if it's that person, it feels really intense. i never admitted the crush i had until yesterday. when i was just waiting for that person to come finally online and to talk to them (which unfortunately blackfired), i was nervous. i was waiting all day and they didn't come. i was not really sad or anything, but i never felt that way when i used to be with my queerplatonic partner who used to be my significant other that time back then. now we're just queerplatonic partners and that's all i want.
maybe i was waiting for my crush to appear and to confess my feelings. and i could easily tell them when they were offline but... i didn't want to. some friends told me to wait, some other friends told me do it. some friends told me that it could impossibly be a crush but something else; like a squish. but it's not a squish. it's way more. i was always happy when they came online and talked to me. sometimes it was just silly roleplaying which i enjoyed, but this person really showed me something else. that i had a crush on them and that i want to get to know them more.
is it possible? would this work? i am really nervous and i don't know if i should tell them. just yesterday i realized it was a crush and i had this crush for quite a while - maybe a month? i am just so confused and i really want to tell what i feel... yet i am scared to know if they feel the same thing or not... the least i want is getting denied. but honestly, i would not force someone to love me. i would not go all yandere and be like 'LOVE ME BACK YOU BITCH'.
anyways, i might edit this post every now and then and update you about the situation. i have yet to wait for them to come online.
p.s: for the sake of comfort i deleted some posts on this blog.
じゃあ、また!
jam of the day
the mess. // Saturday, July 9, 2016
how does it feel like if you have a crush on someone but you won't admit it to yourself? how does it feel like if you don't know if this person would ever love you back? how does it feel like if you told to yourself that you don't need romance the other day, but then you feel WORSE when you suddently realise 'SHIT, there is ONE DAMN person.' ONE FRICKING DAMN person that gives you the feeling of being important. a lot of people give me that feeling, but if it's that person, it feels really intense. i never admitted the crush i had until yesterday. when i was just waiting for that person to come finally online and to talk to them (which unfortunately blackfired), i was nervous. i was waiting all day and they didn't come. i was not really sad or anything, but i never felt that way when i used to be with my queerplatonic partner who used to be my significant other that time back then. now we're just queerplatonic partners and that's all i want.
maybe i was waiting for my crush to appear and to confess my feelings. and i could easily tell them when they were offline but... i didn't want to. some friends told me to wait, some other friends told me do it. some friends told me that it could impossibly be a crush but something else; like a squish. but it's not a squish. it's way more. i was always happy when they came online and talked to me. sometimes it was just silly roleplaying which i enjoyed, but this person really showed me something else. that i had a crush on them and that i want to get to know them more.
is it possible? would this work? i am really nervous and i don't know if i should tell them. just yesterday i realized it was a crush and i had this crush for quite a while - maybe a month? i am just so confused and i really want to tell what i feel... yet i am scared to know if they feel the same thing or not... the least i want is getting denied. but honestly, i would not force someone to love me. i would not go all yandere and be like 'LOVE ME BACK YOU BITCH'.
anyways, i might edit this post every now and then and update you about the situation. i have yet to wait for them to come online.
p.s: for the sake of comfort i deleted some posts on this blog.
じゃあ、また!
jam of the day
about
a prince that goes by kano. 23 years old. germany.
agender. he/them pronouns. media design sophomore.
single. asexual panromantic. infp & melancholic.
